Knowledge is power, power is knowledge.

 I’ve always been a pretty passionate person along with being bipolar and having adhd my train of thought is derailed quite ofte. While my girls constantly encourage me to most, importantly never stop and secondly to keep thinking differently than every time prior so I may do my best to Keep my sanity in an among the fabric of what is my reality. I can fill a page full with nonsensical words that could stab a persons eyes out.   

            So it’s definitely safe to say my girls have given me so many many many precious gifts. And I know it sounds cliche…but I’ve learned so much more than just about parenting. I’ve become a better human being. I’ve always felt to have had some sort of a lost soul to some extent of the meaning, because my mind does wander whole lot of the time making It a constant struggle just to be myself, but does that mean I’m truly really lost? Or is it just that we all as human beings who feel lost at some point, or another and in reality not all things have to be in order at times. Plus how are you supposed to find yourself if you never lose yourself? 

                     So of course in the whole scheme of life; things can be broken, as well as things can be repaired. Unfortunately there is not; however a serum for the pain that radiates through us an echoes throughout our souls. Leaving us to wonder if is it possible to leave behind that hurt and heart break that can rule us if we let it. 

                      Sometimes it helps to consider irrelevant information, to eavesdrop on all the stray associations unfolding in the far reaches of the brain. Occasionally, focus can backfire and make us fixated on the wrong answers. Then we have the consequence of compliance which is emotional truncation, numbness, and isolation. Although we live in an age that worships attention — when we need to work, we force ourselves to concentrate — this approach can inhibit the imagination. 

                      Life is a journey, not a snapshot. We may shift in and out of those categories on our journey. We may intentionally choose not to join one side or the other. We may choose not to be quantified according to another’s standards of functionality. 

                         Acceptance is such a funny thing. Knowing what to accept and what not to accept is not always clear–for any parent or person. 

                          We all want to do remarkable things, and lead remarkable lives.

                        I think that prior to having children, I was really hard on people. I was judgmental and arrogant. Don’t get me wrong, I still fight to suppress the judging monster that rears its ugly head more often than I’d like. But for the most part, I am much more willing to give people a break or the benefit of the doubt. I find myself looking for the good in people and being more understanding of faults. I think this has to do with the fact that I feel like my own (copious) faults and mistakes are magnified by the giant looking glass of parenthood. There is more than enough for me to judge in my own backyard and people cut me a break. They tell me I am good when I feel bad. They tell me that my insecurities, my flaws as a parent, my flaws as a human are okay. They forgive me and they accept me. That is beautiful. And I want my daughters to learn from and be a part of THAT is humanity. Occasional bad days come with the occupation of breathing oxygen on a daily basis and no one is exempt.