Thought I had lost..

                  Seeing the romance in you makes my heart pace rapidly in my chest, while at times just your presence leaves me breathless. It gives me great happiness in knowing I love your touch expressive manner. You know exactly what to do with you kisses an your fingers on my body.

         I thought I had lost the ability to be romantic, but when you’re around there is such an allure like no other Ive ever encountered. You reopened my eyes to all the possibilities in life I’d almost lost all hope for and forgotten that and everything beyond that. You are the things words can never name.
           All it took for you to unravel me was one; one touch; one look; one kiss; one word. Your whispered words of desire caress my whole being while that look you get in your eyes unveiling the hunger you have for me causing mine to grow more and more every time. I crave you to overwhelm me with your look undressing me with your eyes, leaving me no way to elude you while you fondle me with your deepest darkest desires that have been buried deep within your mind. 
     You capture me with a single touch.

ROAD LESS TRAVELED

             As I move through the New Year, I feel the best point to start is by revisiting my pain, addressing it with care, and control, and transforming it into joy and gratitude. To shed the pay and anger, this issue takes the lead.
               Recovery from an abuser is never an easy road, but a necessary road to health an healing. A throbbing heart is a ready reminder of God. The bruised, damaged, and the broken are all around us not just the ones that are obvious and the ones that ask for help, they are standing next to us everywhere.
              I know one day I will be much happier with who I am, with my accomplishments, my hard work, with much perseverance. The world may have been pulled from up under us but it will never pull us away from each other. I’m ok with who I am, an who I strive to become, I’m even aware an ok with what others think I should be.                                      I will no longer be shame driven by the fact to the normal people I am oddly inappropriate at times an even on my best behavior. 

                     I’m just a little flamboyantly chipper, an that of course is what I stick out an draw attention to myself, at least I draw something well. I get the phrase “you ought to” a lot, the room of good intentions, where I make unintentional attempts to be better, really just showing.  

                   I am often full of unanswerless questions, I betray my oneself with trying to Look better. Like I got them really fooled thinking I need to better to be better…. Makes no sense.      

               Like the mountain, our lives need to be observed at a distance. To take any one moment and say it defines who I am is to diminish the whole of me, the greatness and complexity of all that I’ve been and will become. 

              You see, my life only becomes a tragedy when someone else chooses to frame it that way. And that is objectifying toward me and people like me and I will explain to you why I feel that way.
So I need to declutter–to downsize what I am and what I do. Because right now, things are kind of a mess inside of me and I’m busting at the seams. Sometimes, I can’t find parts of me that I need or want. I’m trying to find a way to internally organize so that I have room for myself
 

  Hindsight burns my eyes.